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Australia. Chapter IV: The Planet of the Kangaroos

Like a Lannister I always pay my debts. So today, as promised last week, it’s all about Australia’s finest bags, the Kangaroos. There’s no complete Australian trip without seeing some autochthon wildlife. I had no clue there was a place where a bunch of kangaroos were laying around just chilling waiting for some tourist to bring them food. And we were going to be those tourists.

To prepare for this exciting and dangerous encounter, we all have seen videos of roided up kangaroos kicking the living shit out of each other; we decided to eat kangaroo meat the night before to asses our alpha roles in front of those beasts. And to know how they tasted like in case we had to bite them.

We jumped on a rented car and drove to Morisset Park. I was expecting to just arrive there and see all the kangaroos jumping the car like a The Walking Dead scene. But no, we arrived and nothing. We started walking and after a couple of minutes still not a single kangaroo in sight. And just when we started to worry…

We hit the jackpot, that kangaroo was carrying a baby on its pouch. The problem is he was being a little shy. But we had the right remedy for that. Like Gwen Stefani would say: B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Feeding time had just begun.

After this monumental fail, we found more kangaroos a few meters away. They were a bit far from us but once we started to whip out the bananas (not the ones you are thinking about, naughty you), they started to come. I steadily took the camera and started to take pictures like the best photographers National Geographic has to offer.

Nerves of steel.

Nobody told me they were THAT weird. That is not cute at all. They have those claws. Plus, they were quite tall and there was this buff one which was kind of aggressive towards the rest. At the end of the day, once I got used to have those animals around, I was able to get some decent photos. It was fun to spend time with them, we attracted them using bananas and carrots. Fun fact about kangaroos, if you feed them bananas first, they will politely say fuck off to your carrots. Bananas are like crack to them.

Addicted, I tell you.
You can see the disgust in his eyes towards that carrot.
You can see the disgust in his eyes towards that carrot.

Creep.
Creep.
The buff one.
The buff one.
Somebody is in trouble.
Somebody is in trouble.

Ok, that one is cute.

How you doin’?

This was our experience with the kangaroos. Next time we’ll visit another animal, this one with a huge mouth and an insatiable appetite; your mom. Just kidding, we’ll see some crocs!

No that kind of croc.
No these ones.

Before I forget, one last thing I need to show you.

See those testicles hanging?

They are souvenirs.

They are souvenirs.